"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.
My mom made pot pie for dinner and as she sat down at the table she said “Oh no! I forgot the peas!” and I said “then I guess it’s just an ‘ot ie” and now I have to eat alone in the living room.
i want to go downstairs to get pie but there are people i don’t know down there
you guys are literally no help at all
This is the best thing ever.
smooth motherfucker strikes again
"hey what’s the date?"
THIS LITERALLY DIDN’T EVEN REGISTER AS INCORRECT TO ME
I READ IT AND I WAS LIKE WTF WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY NOTES THEN I SCROLLED DOWN THEN I WENT BACK UP AND I WAS LIKE DING DONG DANGIT HOW DID I NOT REALIZE
ding dong dangit
the real joke here is the jade harley detective cop show where she unravels the most mysterious mysteries of them all!!!
what if you spoke in your icon’s voice for an entire week
a little blown away
1.) The girl practiced safe sex and used condoms. SMART. AS. FUCK.
2.) I’ve seen this reblogged with notes calling her a “whore” and a “skank”. Fuck that noise. Over half the girls on tumblr will, or have, sucked the dick of a guy they just met, only hung out with a few times, or barely know, and then stress because he hasn’t called them back or he’s treating them like shit. Meanwhile the same girls go to work at a minimum wage job where they don’t even make $920 in 3 months, much less a day.
Good for this chick. She’s on her hustle and I ain’t mad at her. Make that money, girl!
you go girl
suck them dicks
achieve your dreams
im so mad. out of all the universes we coulda got put in, we got stuck in the domestic/highschool au
of being tired
of being tired
|—||Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories, Vol. 2 (via ponceau)|
terms to use instead of sex (which is a bad word don’t use it):
- the do
- dingle dangle
- frick frack
- happy happy fun time